since we've been married, i've been in a few situations where i've been asked to write/give marital advice - mostly at bridal showers. my advice is always the same; it is a nugget of knowledge that someone once told me and I have carried with me. it is the perpetual advice that I give to myself in my marriage and in life: give more grace.
When he leaves a sink full of dishes, give more grace. When he's running late, give more grace. When you find hairs in the sink, give more grace. When he forgets that one thing you needed from the store, give more grace. When he loses his temper, give more grace. When he eats your choco taco, give more grace.
It's not always easy. But I would say it's made the biggest difference in my marriage. I came into marriage with unrealistic expectations of this picture perfect life we would make for ourselves. My greatest realization was that we are two imperfect, intrinsically selfish people living together both needing to give and receive grace for our actions and attitudes. Many times my instinct is to get upset or complain, but grace goes a long way. I've found myself just doing those dishes or cleaning up those hairs and adjusting my attitude to think of it as an opportunity to serve my hard-working husband. giving grace.
It really does make all the difference for us. And we are only able to do it because we have first been given undeserved grace. ("But he gives more grace." - James 4:6)
I still fail at this all the time. that's why it's perpetual advice, i need to constantly be reminded. thankfully, i think he'll give me grace.