(re)living & learning

My sister had her first baby and my first nephew on February 28.

He was perfect and precious and I couldn't wait to hold him.

While we were visiting and I got to spend time with my sister and newborn baby John, I was reliving my first days with Grady. I recounted with my sister, in the trenches of the first week of motherhood, how there was so much guesswork in the beginning.

Is he still hungry? Did he get enough to eat? Should I feed him longer on this side? Is he sleeping too long? Should I wake him up and feed him?

And we lamented about how people shouldn't put so much hype on the labor part (especially if you get the epidural) but the recovery part. Woof. And that breastfeeding is more of a learned skill than a natural instinct as some might tell you.

This led me to recall how I had felt in a strange haze and totally not like myself those first few days. Like I was floating through this new life of mine where all I did was breastfeed, change diapers, and get to know this new baby who had taken over my life. I remember having a pit in my stomach because I didn't really like this new life.I didn't feel an instant crazy, passionate, irrational love for Grady. I loved him for being mine, for being here, and for being the baby I prayed so very hard for. I wanted him, of course, but I didn't know him.

It was strange to remember all this as I watched that same baby crawling around on the floor at my feet.

This child, who I feel overwhelmed to the point of tears with love for now. But my love for him started as just a little spark on that very first day. And has since been ignited by thousands of kisses and giggles and tears and days. Days of learning my sweet boy. Learning he would never take a pacifier, and that he would prefer his two middle fingers. And that he would be an amazing sleeper starting at just 6 weeks. That sometimes he would just need to fuss. How he would make a knocking motion with his wrist when he would stretch. The way he would touch my lips while he nursed. That he would love to be swaddled. That it wouldn't make any difference to him when we stopped swaddling. That he would be sweet and so very smiley. And have special smiles that were only for me. That he would adore his dad and light up when he came home. That he would be strong, while bringing up the rear in the 5th percentile. That he would be fearless learning to crawl and climb - bumping his head with no tears involved. That he would teach me more about myself than I ever thought possible.

And now my love is an all-consuming fire. I love him with a fierceness and tenacity I never thought possible. To know him is to love him and I know my boy like the back of hand.
He is my very best.

operation upgrade all the pillows

I'm too embarrassed to show you what my pillows used to look like.

I'd had them since we got married almost 5 years ago. They were green and brown and stained despite repeated washing.

You know it's bad when your husband starts to complain that they're ugly.

So when I went to Target to check out my options, I realized it would cost me a small fortune to upgrade all the pillows as just one cute pillow was $25. Not gonna happen.

It took a few weeks of hunting and diy-ing, but I was able to upgrade all of my pillows for less than the price of one full-price pillow. I could do this because I used my old pillow forms which were still in good shape.

So, eventually Target did pull through with some good clearance.

Pom-Pom Pillow: $5

Gray Felted Pillow: $7

Gray Napkins: 2 for $3

Napkins are a great option for upgrading pillow covers because they are a perfect square.

Sew three sides, stuff in your pillow and then sew the fourth size shut. Easy as pie.

 I added my own fabric ruffles for a bit of flair.

Cream Rosette Pillow 

Sears Going-out-of-business Sale: $5

Vintage placemat Pillow

Placemats are another great option for easy pillow covering.

This placemat was a quarter yard sale find that I had stashed away and all I had to do was seam rip one of the sides, stuff in a pillow and then sew it shut again.

 Vintage Bed Sheet Pillow

It's always best to think outside the box for fabric. Making this pillow

out of a bedsheet took a bit of measuring and a bit more sewing but

I love the fabric more than anything I could have found at the store.

Vintage Fabric Pillow

Easily my new favorite pillow (I did stuff it with my softest pillow form though).

But I love this vintage fabric. I've had it for so long but could never find the right

thing to use it for. Makes for a great statement pillow.

There are lots of fun vintage fabric options on etsy!

 

Striped Fabric Pillow

I ordered this striped fabric (1/2 yard for $5) from a seller on etsy.

I knew I wanted to add some stripes in with all my floral.

The best thing about making this pillow was this new-to-me envelope cover

technique that my friend Kerry told me about.

Less sewing and you can take off the cover to wash it!

Next time you need a pillow upgrade - try one of these easy and affordable options!

Grady: 7 months

Oh my sweet 7-month old Grady, you are so much fun. You keep me on my toes with all the new things you can do. And you constantly surprise me. I love to watch you learn to crawl - it's exciting to see you explore your world. I can't even tell you how big my heart swells when we play peek-a-boo and you laugh wildly at me. When I whisper, "you're mama's baby" and you put your hand on my face, I think you know how much I love you.

it was always you

I used to daydream about meeting this ruggedly handsome man. One who would sweep me off my feet and never look back. 

This man had a kind face and gentle eyes despite his ever present 5 o’clock shadow. He had a great laugh that he used often and never took himself too seriously. 

He was musically inclined, as I am not, and even wrote me a love song or two. He enjoyed working with his hands and was good at it, he could even build me a dining room table from scratch. 

He wore boots mostly, but could rock a suit like none other. 

He would fight hard, but love harder. He would be quick to forgive. He would fiercely protect his family and never hesitate to help a friend. People would love to be around him. 

He had a strong work ethic but was humble about his accomplishments. He was a spiritual leader; a man I could easily respect. 

He would love me passionately and tell me often. He would be faithful and true.  And when we would have babies -- oh, what beautiful babies -- he would be an extraordinary dad. He would change diapers without ever complaining, and he would make me a better mother. 

Even at my worst, I would feel beautiful when he looked at me.

We would spend each year looking back and finding it better than before and we would enjoy growing old together. 

My dearest Joshua, this man of my dreams is you.

It was always you.

pinned it - made it - recipe reviews

Greek Pizza

If you're in the greek mood, this is your jam. 

Super yummy and easy to make.

Our only complaint was that all our topping kept falling off so we ended up eating it more like pita/dip style. Still good.

Crunchy Black Bean Tacos

Dooo it. So good! And if you're like me, you probably have most of the ingredients on hand.

And whatever I didn't have on hand, I just left out and they were still tasty!

And packed with protein!

Cinnamon Roll Waffles

I'm sure I don't have to convince you that these are delicious. 

And that they take WAY less time than actually baking cinnamon rolls - like 2-3 mins tops.

But they are DANGEROUS - you think you're only eating one waffle but in reality you're eating 4 cinnamon rolls. You've been warned.

Pineapple Angel Food Cupcakes

Safe yourself the couple bucks you would invest trying this recipe.

The consistency was so weird. They didn't taste bad but they weren't good either.

Even my husband, who likes anything, refused to eat them.

Pumpkin Chocolate Cupcakes

If you're looking for a good easy cupcakes recipe, this is the one!

They were SO good and cake-y. 

And I'm not sure who decides WW points, but they say each one is only 1 WW point. I don't know what that means, but I like the sound of it.

i love love - decor & crafting

Last year was my first time taking Valentine's Day decor beyond a bowl of candy.

And you know what, I kinda liked it.
I know Valentines Day is totally commercial, but I love love and want to celebrate it.
And that's enough for me.

So, per my usual, I shopped my house for my mantle decor.

And realized I really like vintage floral.

(Most of these were borrowed from my bedroom)

And I also added a few other love-ly details around the house.

Fact: I prefer homemade crepe paper roses to real ones.

One thing I did make when I got in a crafty mood during nap time was this little arrow quiver.

My friend Cheryl has a super cool one on her mantle that I always admire, so I thought V-day would be a perfect time to make myself one.

I used an old fireplace matches container to be my quiver but I bet a pringles can or something similar would work just the same.

And then I wrapped it in paper.

For the bottom of the arrow, I used a white index card, and trimmed and feathered it.

 

Then attached it to a dowel.

I made five but just repeat with as many arrows as you wish to make.

  

Have fun celebrating the ones you love this week!

Grady: Six Months

See the rest of Grady's monthly photos

This boy is my joy. He is sweetness in little boy form. I must kiss his face a thousand times per day.

Sometimes my arms ache to hold him in the morning. When I pick him up and he smiles at me, I can feel his love. He's only been here six months but I can't remember life without him.